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Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than to improving their minds?Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
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Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving
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Why is not Mexico in the olympics?...Because everyone that can swim, jump, climb, and sprint are already over the Border..
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What 2+2 is?Housewife says 4.acntnt:either 3 or 4,let me run through my spreadsheet again.Lawyer closes shutters,turns down lights,whispersWhat do U want it 2 B
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Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade.Dont panic, I am coming immediately. Have you done anything yet ?Yea, I shaved with the electric razor
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Market guru walks in2 a pizzeria 4 a pizza.Waiter aske:Should I cut it into 6 or 8 pieces?Guru replies:I am feeling hungry right now.Better cut it into 8 pieces
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Where is the self-help section? She answered, If I tell you, it will defeat the purpose
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Getting on a plane,I told the ticket lady, 1 of my bags 2 NY, 1 to LA, and one to Miami.She said,We cant do that!I told her,You did it last week
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A man telephoned an airline office in New York and asked, How long does it take to fly to Boston?clerk said, Just a minute,Thank you,the man said and hung up
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What is the purpose of the propeller? To keep the pilot cool. If you dont think so, just stop it and watch him sweat
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How does the captain know the aircraft is safely at the ramp?Both the engines and the co-pilot stop whining
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It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner.What are my choices? he asked.Yes or No,she replied
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The frightened tourist: Are there any bats in this cave?The guide: There were, but dont worry, the snakes ate all of them
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Teacher:Why R U late,Joseph?Joseph:coz of a sign down the road.Teacher:What does a sign have 2 do with ur being late?Joseph:sign said,"School Ahead, Go Slow
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Teacher: Johnny, you know you cant sleep in my class.Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could
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The child comes home from his first day at school.Mother asks,What did you learn today?The kid replies,Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow
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Dad, can you write in the dark?I think so. What is it you want me to write?Your name on this report card
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Man: Want to Dance?Woman: No, thank you.Man: Dont thank me, thank God somebody asked you.
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Do you ever notice that when you are driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
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The judge said to his dentist: Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth
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